There’s a Yiddish proverb that goes something like “We plan, God laughs”.  Woody Allen tweaked it to be “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.”

I’m more interested in making my friends laugh, (although I’m sure God could use a good giggle what with all the nonsense humans are up to these days), so I’ve tweaked it further still:

If you want to make your mommy friends point and laugh hysterically at you until their already-limited bladder control fails them, tell them your plans for your maternity leave.

Not nearly as elegant as those Yiddish folk, but I’m going with it. 

As of today, I am 39 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  I’m told I will be a mommy any day now, but that hasn’t really sunk in yet.  Because I am a teacher with the glorious perk of summers off, I have been enjoying a life of leisure and rest for the past 6 weeks.  Manis and pedis, catching up with my gorgeous and fabulous friends, napping, nesting (that is actually code for shopping).  It has been wonderful to have this time off before Baby arrives; I know not many women have this luxury and I have not taken a nanosecond of it for granted.

And I still have another year off to go, time that I will share with my wee one once my maternity leave officially begins.

Now, I am a very productive person by nature.  I measure most days by how productive I’ve been – how many things I managed to tick off my to do list.  While my mobility has been slowing down over the last 6 weeks due to my ever-expanding belly, I have remained highly productive (whilst still enjoying a life of leisure).  Chores are done, books are read, meals are cooked, plans are made.  Yes, plans are made. I have a whole year off ahead of me…surely I will have some time to satisfy my inner productivity junkie!

I absolutely cannot relate to this.

I reached out to some of my friends with children to ask them what plans and goals they felt were realistic to set during maternity leave.  Below is my list of plans next to theirs…