For the past few months, my Inner Productivity Junkie has been sulking in the corner.   She doesn’t like to be ignored, but as a new mama, I haven’t quite figured out how to keep both her and my son happy.

That’s not to say I haven’t been productive since my son was born.  I’d say keeping him healthy and happy is plenty productive!  And I’ve managed to tackle a redecorating project in the master bedroom – a work in progress still but all the big decisions have been actioned.  And then of course I’ve managed to shower (almost) every day and keep the kitchen clean(ish).  So by most standards, I have been a productive mama on maternity leave, thus far.

My Inner Productivity Junkie is in withdrawal, though.

All around me, there are little organizational tasks and personal projects begging for my attention.  Before my son came along, I would delight in them! I could spend a whole afternoon – heck, a whole day! – in my closet, purging and sorting and re-folding everything into neatly colour-blocked stacks.  Ooohhh the calming effect of an organized closet cannot be overemphasized!  Now any organizing my discombobulated self takes on is in spurts of anywhere from 3-20 minutes.  While I am surprised and impressed by the amount you can organize in 3 minutes (this is how long I let my son cry in his crib during naps before popping his soother back in), I really miss my leisurely afternoons immersed in closets, drawers, and cupboards.  (Yes, I realize this makes me sound like a big dork. I can own it.)

You’re probably wondering why I don’t just satisfy my organizational cravings while my son naps, right?  Well, he’s just about 5 and a half months old, which means he hasn’t quite settled into a predictable schedule, yet.  I know he will nap three times during the day, but I never know how long those naps will be.  Sometimes they are 37 minutes, sometimes they are 2 hours.  I really wish he would just say “Mom, this is going to be a long snooze so go to town on the linen closet” or “Sorry Mama, this is going to be a crap nap. Best make yourself a cup of tea and squeeze in an episode of Love It or List It. Fast forward the commercials, wink wink”

Well today my Inner Productivity Junkie pushed herself to the front of the cue and demanded my attention.  I was overtaken by the overwhelming urge to spring clean my whole house.  We’re talking down to the baseboards clean.  Excitement pulsed through my body at the thought of getting shit done!

While my son was down for nap #2, I made my plan, gathered together all the products and rags I would need, and changed into grubby clothes.

And then something happened that has never happened to me before:  the urge to be productive went. away. It just vanished.  All my excitement to put my house in order whooshed out of me and I was left feeling very tired.

My Inner Productivity Junkie returned to her place in the corner with her back to me, and I made myself a cup of tea and watched The Mindy Project.

I don’t even know me anymore.