Let me set the scene:
It’s 3am, and my bladder has awoken me for my nightly pilgrimage to the washroom. I ricochet off a wall or a doorway on my way to the en suite because I keep my eyes closed and the lights off in hopes that I don’t wake up my mind. Do you know what’s worse than a fully alert mind at 3am? A fully alert pregnant mind.
Some nights I’m able to relieve my bladder and return to the warmth of our bed in such a semi-conscience state that sleep washes over me again in mere moments. Other nights, however, I know from the minute I struggle to move from prone to upright that I am doomed to be awake for awhile. My mind is already humming with thoughts and ideas, just waiting for my body to wake up and join the party.
Such was the case last night.
Rather than lie back down and risk disturbing my hardworking husband who has his own troubles in the sleep department, I went into the guest room to jot down some of the random thoughts that were crashing around in my head. Often that’s all it takes to quiet my mind so I can get back to sleep.
Looking over my notes today, I decided they might provide some insight into the mysterious mind of a woman at 38 weeks of pregnancy and therefore, be worth sharing.
My 3am Musings, in no particular order:
- I wonder if my husband will hang the central vacuum rack for me today. I don’t want to ask him – he has been tackling so many jobs around the house lately to keep my Mama Bear soul soothed and content.
- Moms are in perpetual standby mode, and that was one of the hardest things for me to adjust to when I had my son. Two and a half years in, it’s just my normal now. So is never reaching a really deep state of sleep. Does that mean I might have an easier go of things on this maternity leave?
- Why has no one invented a pregnant woman flipper? Something similar to a pancake flipper in nature…an assistive device to help a heavily pregnant woman flip from her right side to her left side when in bed. Surely there is money to be made there… I’ve certainly seen weirder inventions since entering the realm of pregnancy and motherhood.
- Being really pregnant in the winter SUCKS ASS.
- I want to learn how to do Hollywood vintage glamour curls in my hair. For all the events I won’t be going to.
- I think I’m developing a neck waddle like the judge on Ally McBeal. Aren’t I too young for a neck waddle?
- I wonder what’s involved with a pelvic floor assessment. It can’t be fun. And why is pelvic floor health taken so seriously in France and Spain, but it’s hardly mentioned in Canada? I’m on my second pregnancy (second c-section, no less), and it was a physiotherapist working on my hip that alerted me to the importance of pelvic floor health.
- I should write a blog post about the pros and cons of being an ‘older mom’.
- Will I have any ‘me time’ when I am a mother of two?
- I need to clean the baseboards.
- We need a bigger freezer.
- When are my library books due?
- I wonder if recovery from a second c-section will be easier or harder than the first time.
- Holy shitballs! Baby Girl will be IN MY ARMS one week today!!!
- I hope my sweet boy transitions smoothly into big brotherhood. Amazing how pervasive ‘mama guilt’ is – I actually feel guilty that my son won’t be an only child anymore, even though there are countless benefits to having a sibling.
It’s like my mind is a big party balloon, filled to the brink of popping, and then let go before it’s tied. It wildly bounces all over the place, changing direction with every wall or object it encounters, until it completely deflates in a wrinkly lump.
Here’s hoping for a quiet mind tonight.