I am Mama: Mover of the Things.

Recently I was chatting with one of my mama tribe pals, and I expressed some exasperation over the fact that I seem to spend the majority of most days moving things around. Toys, laundry, sunglasses, dirty dishes, clean dishes, dead batteries, bathing suits. Kids. You name it, I probably spent time moving it somewhere today. My friend could relate.

I suspect every mama can.

Because I am a dork  For research purposes, I decided to track all the things I moved for one day.  The resulting list was long, and, as Husband gently put it, annoying and boring.

To his credit, he was right. (Enjoy this moment, Husband.)

So I decided to go with a melange format…prose and list…in an effort to…er…make it less annoying and boring.

Let’s start with the obvious things that mamas move on the regular throughout the day: the Children.  Clearly this applies more to mamas of little kids, not big kids (er…at least I hope you’re not still lifting your able-bodied 11-year-old in and out of the car or onto his chair at the kitchen table).  Between her crib, booster seat, and carseat, I move my daughter at least 12 times per day.  Add to that all the times I carry her up or down the stairs in our house, and the new total becomes somewhere in the neighbourhood of 3,012.

I have thighs of steel, my friends.

Then there’s all the moving we do in the name of feeding people. Dishes, cutlery, placemats, condiments, sippy cups, food…to the table…and then… back to the fridge, cupboards, dishwasher, or sink.

Next,  I would be remiss if I failed to include the mega-moving category of excursions with Children. As well as moving the children to and from the car repeatedly, an excursion often includes some of these additional moves for mamas:

• grocery bins out of trunk
• stroller into trunk
• snacks and ice packs into cooler bag
• water bottles, cooler bag, sunscreen, umbrellas, masks, and diaper bag into car
• stroller, water bottles, cooler bag, sunscreen, masks, and diaper bag out of car at trail/park/mall/waterfront
• stroller, water bottles, cooler bag, sunscreen, masks, diaper bag, and rocks the Children collected on the excursion back into car when either a) Mama’s patience expires or b) Children’s ‘good listening’ nosedives or c) both of the above
• ALL THESE THINGS out of the car at home

And finally, once the Children are napping, I sneak move:

• the rocks Children gathered on the excursion to the ‘collection’ in the backyard. (There is no collection. There is only a pile along the side of the house where they never play and that I never remind them about because what are they going to do with rocks that won’t get them into trouble???) 

And then there are alllllllllllll the other things that I move/schlep/transfer/haul/carry/relocate (er, sorry…got a little carried away there with my synonyms) around my home in the course of a typical day:

Move empty toilet paper roll to recycling box.
Move polar bear stuffy to washing machine after I witness Girl pouring her milk into his ‘fur’.
Move iPads out of reach and sight of Boy and Girl.

Move Husbands’s baseball hat and sunglasses off the kitchen counter to the basket we have in the office just for these types of things.

Move empty syrup container and waffle box from breakfast to recycle bins.
Move crayons and colouring books to the kitchen table.
Move crayons and colouring books back to their drawer because the Children change their minds and then I
Move the play-doh to the kitchen table.
(Stealthily) Move Amazon box from front porch to my closet before Husband sees that I have been “at it again”.

Move cushions and blankets from every couch,chair, and bed to the tv room for fort-building extravaganza.
Move Lego pieces from my closet into Lego bin. 
Move Lego pieces from beside toilet into garbage. Ew. 
Move another empty toilet paper roll to recycle bin. (Does no one else in my house know where the recycling bin is???)
Move stroller out of trunk and into garage.
Move grocery bins from garage back into trunk.
Move all cushions and blankets from the tv room fort back to their respective couches/chairs/beds.

Is it any wonder that mamas are so tired???

By this point, my kids are in bed.  You’ll notice a slight shift in the kind of moves I make when I am off-duty:

Move wine from the basement to the kitchen counter.
Move wine into a glass.
Move glass to my lips. 

Move much chocolate into my mouth.
Move glass to my lips again.
Move glash ta ma lipsh agin.
Move my tired ass to my bed, so I am rested enough to MOVE ALL THE THINGS tomorrow.

Now when my friend and I ask about each other’s day, the answer goes something like this: “Oh, you know, got some groceries. Moved all the things.” And we understand what those four little words imply, because we are mamas. Movers of the things.