8 days ago, I was writing a letter to my postpartum self.
Today, I have a 7-day old little girl. Our pink buddha. Our fraggle. I can’t stop inhaling her. I can’t get enough of her little squeaks, her tiny toes. She sneezes and the roof lifts and she farts like a trucker. We are smitten.
So…my little pickle’s birth story… Continue reading
Let me set the scene:
It’s 3am, and my bladder has awoken me for my nightly pilgrimage to the washroom. I ricochet off a wall or a doorway on my way to the en suite because I keep my eyes closed and the lights off in hopes that I don’t wake up my mind. Do you know what’s worse than a fully alert mind at 3am? A fully alert pregnant mind. Continue reading
With Baby Girl set to arrive in just over one week, I decided to use some time today to take care of a task that every woman hopes to accomplish pre-baby: a pedicure.
I like to bring my own polish with me because the thought of the brush touching other people’s toenails makes me gag a little. Afflicted by indecision, I was struggling to choose between three colours: OPI Malaga Wine, Zoya Elodie, and Zoya Tara. I figured the best way to reach a decision would be to put each colour on a few toes and compare for optimal emotional reaction, as in…
Which colour would make me feel the most ready to have my abdomen slit open and a baby pulled out of it? Continue reading
Remember that time back in 2016 when I said I was calling it a day on this whole blogging deal?
I seem to find myself in similar circumstances as I was when I first began my blog, back in 2015. That is, pregnant.
Here in Canada, mamas now have the option of taking a mind-blowing 18 month maternity leave. While the financial implications of this option are not exactly enticing, my husband and I agreed that the numerous benefits of staying home with my kids while they are so little just couldn’t be overlooked. Continue reading
**Disclaimer: The due dates referred to within this blog post are pregnancy due dates, not school assignment due dates. As a teacher and a hyper-organized person, I take school due dates very seriously and encourage all students and their parents to do the same! ‘Due date, schmue date’ should not be a phrase heard coming from the mouth of any student, ever!**
And now back to my regularly scheduled post…
I have come to the conclusion that due dates are nothing more than another means of driving a pregnant woman insane. Continue reading
My husband and I never got on the maternity photo shoot bandwagon. There is a cheese factor to (many of) them that just doesn’t appeal to me. I would post some examples but I don’t want to offend anyone – to each their own and lots of people like photos of large, naked, pregnant bellies. (Hmm..that sounds way creepier than intended!)
Documenting my pregnancy with regular pictures of my growing belly has been important to me, though. Yesterday I decided to take a different approach to a belly pic, using a blogger’s link that was emailed to me. (I should also note that I was quite convinced that yesterday was the day, and felt an urgency to capture the final moments before meeting our wee one.) Continue reading
There’s a Yiddish proverb that goes something like “We plan, God laughs”. Woody Allen tweaked it to be “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans.”
I’m more interested in making my friends laugh, (although I’m sure God could use a good giggle what with all the nonsense humans are up to these days), so I’ve tweaked it further still:
If you want to make your mommy friends point and laugh hysterically at you until their already-limited bladder control fails them, tell them your plans for your maternity leave.
Not nearly as elegant as those Yiddish folk, but I’m going with it. Continue reading